You’re the tits

Dreams Don’t Work Unless You Do

The pop of sparky orange was the perfect colour for one of Beth’s favourite sayings. As hard- working parents, who between us have clocked up more than 40 years of slog at the coal face of PR, retail consultancy and digital marketing, we know the truth of this quote.

We want to inspire you to dream hard darlings, but to work harder in order to make them a reality.

£8.00

Productive as F*ck!

Holy shit, baby – yeah, we are! We’ve got three kids, two goldfish, one cat, one dog and five stick insects between us, but we still get up every day and apply our fabulous game faces. Lucy’s staple: khol eyeliner darker than her last boyfriend’s heart; and just as thick. Beth’s professional armour: a slick of fabulous lipstick, even more fabulous shoes and a punch-today-in-the-face mentality.

Productive? AS F*CK!

Join us with this glorious green mug and set your day’s intent from the first cuppa of the morning!

£8.00

Don’t be a Dick

Dear partner who walks into a room, looks around for 30 seconds and then shouts at you because they “can’t find their keys”, dear workmate who deliberately nicks your ideas, dear child who refuses to eat their peas, dear friend who “forgot” to call you back for the umpteenth time, dear mum at the school gate who secretly judged you when she spotted you sneaking a shop-bought cheese sarnie into your child’s lunchbox, dear fellow driver who didn’t give the obligatory “thank you wave” when you let them out at the junction....

WTAF? DON’T BE A DICK!

This is our go-to mug when we’re laughing off all of life’s little annoyances. So pop the kettle on, roll your eyes at the situation and raise this indigo coloured mug in silent salute to all the dicks you know.

£8.00

I have no idea what I’m f**king doing

Lets be honest, none of really know what the f*** we’re doing pretty much 90% of the time. Cast off those socially conditioned shackles, let your fuckwittery hang out there for all to see and celebrate the fact you’re majorly winging it! Shout it from the rooftops with a flat white, or whisper it over the napping baby with a green tea in your Cafe of Curiosities mug – I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M F**KING DOING!

£6.50

Less Faff More Bosh

Inspiring action over ‘faffing about’ is a strength that runs through Lucy’s veins (a well as glitter, obviously). Lucy proudly invented this phrase to capture that spirit and motivation, and so we thought the red of the rainbow was the perfect colour to bring this no-nonsense, action orientated saying to life.

£8.00

Hello Sunshine!

Sometimes all you need in the morning is a bit of a pick me up... Lucy’s favourite morning mood-booster is a cheeky wink from a builder, whereas Beth needs the perfect take away coffee poured into her keep-cup; but sometimes, you just need someone to give you a beaming smile and say “hello, sunshine!”.

Invest in one of our fabulous yellow caffeine vessels and you’ll get that morning pick me up every time you open the cupboard door.

£8.00

I’m so happy, I could shit rainbows

Beth drinks a flat white with one sugar out of this mug when she’s genuinely happy – the two often go hand in hand- (and because she does actually shit rainbows). Lucy drinks builders brew, milk no sugar, out of this mug when she’s being a grumpy sarcastic old git (and being a vegetarian, Lucy eats a lot of roughage, so you don’t really wanna know what she shits...). Either way, it makes both situations just feel better. At the Cafe of Curiosities, we think that when you’re shitting rainbows, the world shits rainbows with you.

£6.50

It’s All Fun and Games ‘til Your Jeans Don’t Fit Anymore

Coming up with this quote made us laugh our asses off. It sums up the horror of realising you’ve thrown caution to those camembert-filled winds once too often, and now can’t fit into your favourite Topshop skinnies. Urgh. Still...we had heaps of fun on the way to popping that extra notch on the belt and we believe in laughing at ourselves and with each other.

£8.00

#FFS

Parent or not – everyone has a frequent #FFS moment. For us, we whisper it under our breath before answering to ‘mummy’ for the 100^th time that minute, it’s when we pick raisins out of ears, get a 5am wake up call or wipe bogies off the arm of the sofa…again. For you, it might be your boss breathing down your neck, your other half, your ex other half, or just one of those crappy days. This Cafe of Curiosities mug sits snugly in your palms, while you raise your eyes to the heavens to mutter this age old prayer under your breath, several times a day.

£8.00

Because I said so, that’s why

Classic parent quote top five: “You look with your eyes, not your hands” “LIFE isn’t fair” “This is your final warning...” "Be Careful" "Don’t pull that face or it’ll stay like that" And of course.... “BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT’S WHY” Why not avoid having to even talk to you children at all and just glare at them over the top of your cuppa in this Cafe of Curiosities mug.

£6.50

BOSS *especially after coffee

We’re not a ‘girl boss’ or the ‘mum boss’ we’re just THE BOSS. True dat. And what better way to Boss it up, or tell a mate they’re the ultimate, than with this Cafe of Curiosity mug. A perfect brew, black Americano, latte or flat white sized mug that sits very comfortably in the hands while ordering people about delegating in the office, ordering your partner about discussing the division of labour at home with your other half or ordering your children about observing your darling babies at play.

£6.50