You’re the tits

Productive as F*ck!

Holy shit, baby – yeah, we are! We’ve got three kids, two goldfish, one cat, one dog and five stick insects between us, but we still get up every day and apply our fabulous game faces. Lucy’s staple: khol eyeliner darker than her last boyfriend’s heart; and just as thick. Beth’s professional armour: a slick of fabulous lipstick, even more fabulous shoes and a punch-today-in-the-face mentality.

Productive? AS F*CK!

Join us with this glorious green mug and set your day’s intent from the first cuppa of the morning!

£8.00

Dreams Don’t Work Unless You Do

The pop of sparky orange was the perfect colour for one of Beth’s favourite sayings. As hard- working parents, who between us have clocked up more than 40 years of slog at the coal face of PR, retail consultancy and digital marketing, we know the truth of this quote.

We want to inspire you to dream hard darlings, but to work harder in order to make them a reality.

£8.00

Here’s a cup of calm the f**k down

We’ve all needed it; the gentle hand on your shoulder from your mum or dad, the raised eyebrow from a pal at just the titchiest of over-emotional reactions in the coffee shop queue or a shit load of confused emoticons on WhatsApp from a distant friend after a bit of an over-share on Facebook. Consider this your own personal ‘calm the f*** down’ barometer. Reach for this Cafe of Curiosities mug when you need to take time out for a moment, count to ten and reset your personal dial to “awesome”.

£8.00

BOSS *especially after coffee

We’re not a ‘girl boss’ or the ‘mum boss’ we’re just THE BOSS. True dat. And what better way to Boss it up, or tell a mate they’re the ultimate, than with this Cafe of Curiosity mug. A perfect brew, black Americano, latte or flat white sized mug that sits very comfortably in the hands while ordering people about delegating in the office, ordering your partner about discussing the division of labour at home with your other half or ordering your children about observing your darling babies at play.

£6.50

It’s All Fun and Games ‘til Your Jeans Don’t Fit Anymore

Coming up with this quote made us laugh our asses off. It sums up the horror of realising you’ve thrown caution to those camembert-filled winds once too often, and now can’t fit into your favourite Topshop skinnies. Urgh. Still...we had heaps of fun on the way to popping that extra notch on the belt and we believe in laughing at ourselves and with each other.

£8.00

Because I said so, that’s why

Classic parent quote top five: “You look with your eyes, not your hands” “LIFE isn’t fair” “This is your final warning...” "Be Careful" "Don’t pull that face or it’ll stay like that" And of course.... “BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT’S WHY” Why not avoid having to even talk to you children at all and just glare at them over the top of your cuppa in this Cafe of Curiosities mug.

£6.50

Less Faff More Bosh

Inspiring action over ‘faffing about’ is a strength that runs through Lucy’s veins (a well as glitter, obviously). Lucy proudly invented this phrase to capture that spirit and motivation, and so we thought the red of the rainbow was the perfect colour to bring this no-nonsense, action orientated saying to life.

£8.00

I have no idea what I’m f**king doing

Lets be honest, none of really know what the f*** we’re doing pretty much 90% of the time. Cast off those socially conditioned shackles, let your fuckwittery hang out there for all to see and celebrate the fact you’re majorly winging it! Shout it from the rooftops with a flat white, or whisper it over the napping baby with a green tea in your Cafe of Curiosities mug – I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M F**KING DOING!

£6.50

Life is tough, but so are you

Wowzers, life can be a right old bitch sometimes, huh? Well, you know what – so the mother-truck are YOU. So put the kettle on, brew yourself up a fabulous Cafe of Curiosities mug of something restorative, roll up your metaphorical sleeves, turn up the gansta rap and DEAL WITH IT. Boom! This is the perfect brew, black Americano, latte or flat white sized mug that sits very comfortably in the hand while simultaneously blowing a raspberry and sticking two fingers up at life. When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand prosecco.

£8.00

I’m so happy, I could shit rainbows

Beth drinks a flat white with one sugar out of this mug when she’s genuinely happy – the two often go hand in hand- (and because she does actually shit rainbows). Lucy drinks builders brew, milk no sugar, out of this mug when she’s being a grumpy sarcastic old git (and being a vegetarian, Lucy eats a lot of roughage, so you don’t really wanna know what she shits...). Either way, it makes both situations just feel better. At the Cafe of Curiosities, we think that when you’re shitting rainbows, the world shits rainbows with you.

£6.50

Don’t be a Dick

Dear partner who walks into a room, looks around for 30 seconds and then shouts at you because they “can’t find their keys”, dear workmate who deliberately nicks your ideas, dear child who refuses to eat their peas, dear friend who “forgot” to call you back for the umpteenth time, dear mum at the school gate who secretly judged you when she spotted you sneaking a shop-bought cheese sarnie into your child’s lunchbox, dear fellow driver who didn’t give the obligatory “thank you wave” when you let them out at the junction....

WTAF? DON’T BE A DICK!

This is our go-to mug when we’re laughing off all of life’s little annoyances. So pop the kettle on, roll your eyes at the situation and raise this indigo coloured mug in silent salute to all the dicks you know.

£8.00